Passover 1952 The Feig Family Seder

Passover 1952

The Feig Family Seder

Jacob Schlitt

"The Passover Seder is a very important family event in the Jewish holiday calendar."

2006-04-05

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1952

A_Feig__Family_Seder

Passover 1952
The Feig Family Seder

The Passover Seder is a very important family event in the Jewish holiday calendar. It commemorates the Exodus—the departure of the Jewish people from Egypt—and it is filled with symbolism. When I was in Hebrew school, Mr. Zinder, our teacher, worked with us on the Haggadah. We learned the prayers, the telling of the story of the Exodus, and the songs. But the first thing we learned was the Four Questions—The Fir Kashes—in Hebrew and Yiddish. And from the time I went to Hebrew school through college, my mother and I would make a Seder, just the two of us. There were a few occasions when we were invited to a Seder, but they were very few, so I did not have the opportunity to observe other Seders.

In December 1951, Sylvia Feig and I married, and come Passover 1952, I was to be treated to my first Feig Family Seder. This tradition continued into the early 1960's.
My first father-in-law, Sam Feig, had a fine voice, and, I assume, a traditional "cheder" education. Sam and his wife Ethel were born in different shtetlach in Hungary, came to the US in their early 20’s, met and married. Sam had been a "balagula," a coachman, but became a butcher, and Ethel worked as a dressmaker. They lived at 642 Fox Street in the Bronx with their two daughters. I was living at 783 Fox St. with my mother until her death in March 1951.

The Feig apartment was a third floor walk-up and consisted of a small kitchen a, small dining room, a small bathroom and two small bedrooms. For the Seder, the dining room table was extended, a bridge table was added, and every chair in the house encircled them.

For days before the Seder, Ethel was busy scrubbing the apartment, taking out the Passover dishes, and on the day of the Seder, the cooking began. Sylvia helped her mother with the cooking, setting the table and last minute shopping. When I came home from work, I went directly to my in-laws' apartment. Soon after, Sylvia’s pregnant sister Hilda arrived with her husband Lou and three year old Stevie. The women put the final touches on the food preparation, while the men sat around, talked and read the paper. When Ethel announced that everything was ready, Sam called us to the table to begin the Seder.

The Maxwell House Haggadahs were distributed, but it was only Sam who read from it. He made it a point to read every word in Hebrew, with no discussion. There were no explanations of the symbols of Passover: the Seder plate, the three matzahs, Elijah’s cup, the salt water etc. Neither Sylvia nor Hilda had gone to Hebrew School, though Hilda had gone to a Yiddish Shule, and I believe she asked the Four Questions at the Seder. (In the succeeding years, Stevie, then his younger brother Peter, and finally my daughter Carol, performed this role.) While Sam was racing through the Haggadah, Ethel had returned to the kitchen, to begin serving the Seder meal. She had earlier lighted the candles. It did not play a prominent role in the Seder ritual.

It was at these Seders that I learned of the custom of a child taking the Afikomen and hiding it, and when the leader was unable to find it, he had to give the child a prize for its return so the Seder can be ended. (I subsequently learned that at some Seders, the Afikomen is hidden by the leader and the children have to find it.) At the Feig Seder in 1952, the only child was Steve.

Sam took pride in the wine that was served at the Seder table. He is the only person I knew who mixed different wines to make his own blend, though I suspect the sweet Concord grape was the base. And when we drank a cup of wine, we drank a full cup, no little sips. Then, after the charoses (the chopped apples, nuts, wine and cinnamon) and the moror (the horse radish), Ethel, with the help of her daughters, served the meal. Sam was served first. This was his night. He sat in the arm chair with lots of pillows and thoroughly enjoyed himself.

But the high point of the evening was the singing. Sam had a wonderful voice, and he knew all the melodies. His daughters had absorbed them as they were growing up, joined him in the singing, and it was wonderful.

Sam started with "Ki Lo Na’eh," praising God. His version, which I now attempt to sing, is the greatest. It swings; it jumps; it has spirit. And the Hebrew words are pronounced in a European Ashkenazic dialect. ( oo for a). Then came "Adir Hu" Mighty is He, and though Sam’s version was a little closer to the way I had learned it in Hebrew School, it still had his unique touch. Finally, the tune that really blew me away was another "standard" which is the counting song "Ehad Mi Yodea" Who Knows One, which Sam did in a Yiddish version "Ayner iz di Gott." Barbara Stern told me that Theodore Bickel has a version similar to Sam’s, but Sam’s is better. I have found it in a few song books called "Mu Adabru" which helped me with the Yiddish for all thirteen segments. When I attempt to sing it, I never go beyond nine. (Nein monatn trugt a froi.) We ended with the usual Had Gadya,, exhausted, but with a truly joyous "Yontefdik" (holiday) spirit.

Sam and Ethel are long gone. Sylvia and I have been divorced since 1972. However, we both have Sam's "yerushah," his legacy: his songs for the Passover Seder, which he left to his children and his son-in-law, and despite my inability to carry a tune, I have tried to pass them.


4-5-06

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