Warning!
Title
Warning!
Creator
Jacob Schlitt
Description
"If you are 80 years or older: DO NOT PUT ANYTHING IN A PLACE OTHER THAN THE PLACE IN WHICH IT IS USUALLY PUT!"
Date
2014-12-26
Format
application/pdf
Type
text
Language
en
Coverage
2014
Identifier
WARNING
Text
WARNING!
If you are 80 years or older:
DO NOT PUT ANYTHING IN A PLACE OTHER THAN THE PLACE IN WHICH IT IS USUALLY PUT! IF YOU DO, IT WILL TAKE YOU A VERY LONG TIME TO FIND IT!
If you return home and open the door, and then rush to the bathroom, do NOT put your keys on (or in) the first place that you pass. If you usually hang up your keys, hang up your keys! If you usually put them in your purse, put them in your purse. If you usually put them in your pocket, put them in your pocket. If you usually put them in your desk drawer, put them in your desk drawer. Otherwise, you will not remember where you put them, and when you go to get your keys, you will not know where to look.
You will not have remembered putting them down on the kitchen counter when you rushed into the house. You will automatically go to the place in which the keys are usually found. They will not be there. You will then try to reconstruct where you might have put them, but short term memory being what it is, you will not be able to remember.
Did you leave them in your coat? You will go to your coat and not find them. Did you leave them in your car? Of course not; how would you have gotten in, if you left them in the car? So they must be in the house. Where in the house? Perhaps they fell to the floor. You look all over the floor, despite the fact that it is getting hard to bend down (and to see). The keys are not on the floor.
Perhaps on the table near the entrance. You look on the table, and then you look behind the table. The keys are not there. You then check the living room, the dining room, the bedroom. Nothing. Perhaps you took them with you when you went to the bathroom. They are not on the sink and they are not on the bathroom floor. They could not have fallen into the toilet. They would have made a noise loud enough for you to hear it.
As a last resort, you go into the kitchen, and there on the kitchen counter are the keys! A wise person once observed that a lost or misplaced object is always found in the last place you looked for it. Unfortunately, we are never wise enough to look there first.
The same applies to glasses, hearing aids, loose change, mail, newspapers, magazines, books, cell phones, cordless phones, credit cards etc.
Repeat after me: DO NOT PUT ANYTHING IN A PLACE OTHER THAN THE PLACE IN WHICH IT IS USUALLY PUT.
12-26-14
If you are 80 years or older:
DO NOT PUT ANYTHING IN A PLACE OTHER THAN THE PLACE IN WHICH IT IS USUALLY PUT! IF YOU DO, IT WILL TAKE YOU A VERY LONG TIME TO FIND IT!
If you return home and open the door, and then rush to the bathroom, do NOT put your keys on (or in) the first place that you pass. If you usually hang up your keys, hang up your keys! If you usually put them in your purse, put them in your purse. If you usually put them in your pocket, put them in your pocket. If you usually put them in your desk drawer, put them in your desk drawer. Otherwise, you will not remember where you put them, and when you go to get your keys, you will not know where to look.
You will not have remembered putting them down on the kitchen counter when you rushed into the house. You will automatically go to the place in which the keys are usually found. They will not be there. You will then try to reconstruct where you might have put them, but short term memory being what it is, you will not be able to remember.
Did you leave them in your coat? You will go to your coat and not find them. Did you leave them in your car? Of course not; how would you have gotten in, if you left them in the car? So they must be in the house. Where in the house? Perhaps they fell to the floor. You look all over the floor, despite the fact that it is getting hard to bend down (and to see). The keys are not on the floor.
Perhaps on the table near the entrance. You look on the table, and then you look behind the table. The keys are not there. You then check the living room, the dining room, the bedroom. Nothing. Perhaps you took them with you when you went to the bathroom. They are not on the sink and they are not on the bathroom floor. They could not have fallen into the toilet. They would have made a noise loud enough for you to hear it.
As a last resort, you go into the kitchen, and there on the kitchen counter are the keys! A wise person once observed that a lost or misplaced object is always found in the last place you looked for it. Unfortunately, we are never wise enough to look there first.
The same applies to glasses, hearing aids, loose change, mail, newspapers, magazines, books, cell phones, cordless phones, credit cards etc.
Repeat after me: DO NOT PUT ANYTHING IN A PLACE OTHER THAN THE PLACE IN WHICH IT IS USUALLY PUT.
12-26-14
Original Format
application/msword
Collection
Citation
Jacob Schlitt, “Warning!,” Autobiographical stories & other writing by Jacob Schlitt, accessed April 25, 2024, https://tsirlson.omeka.net/items/show/295.