Divorce
Title
Divorce
Creator
Jacob Schlitt
Description
"Adam Kirsch, who is reading a page a day of Talmud as part of a project called Daf Yomi, recently wrote a piece about divorce." (Fragment)
Date
2016
Format
application/msword
Type
text
Language
en
Coverage
1979/1981
Identifier
DIVORCE
Text
DIVORCE
Adam Kirsch, who is reading a page a day of Talmud as part of a project called Daf Yomi, recently wrote a piece about divorce. According to the Talmud, only men can divorce, and the reason: his feeling of incompatibility. To get a “get,” a Jewish divorce, is the man’s prerogative.
To get a civil divorce, in the “old days,” it used to require proof of unfaithfulness. We now have a “no-fault” divorce where either party can claim incompatibility. When Sylvia and I separated, it was, in the eyes of the court, because we were incompatible. To do it legally, she retained a lawyer, and her lawyer suggested that I get a lawyer. The two lawyers then drew up a separation agreement, which was a legal document. After several years of being officially separated, we brought our lawyers together once more, for the formal divorce agreement before a judge, and were officially divorced. But we never had a Jewish divorce.
In 1979, I moved to Boston, met Fran, we developed a “relationship,” Fran became pregnant, we decided to get married, we found a Rabbi to officiate at our wedding, the Rabbi said that since I had been married, but did not have a “Jewish divorce” our child would be considered “a momzer.” Fran was horrified. I was surprised. What to do. I certainly did not want our child to be a momzer. He told me to make arrangements for a Jewish divorce at once. He gave me the address and phone number of the Jewish Theological Seminary. I knew the address from years of listening to The Eternal Light (3080 Broadway.) He also gave me the name of the Rabbi who apparently handles Jewish divorces.
I immediately made two phone calls: One to the Rabbi at JTS, and the other to Sylvia. I told both of them I want to arrange for a Jewish divorce. They both were agreeable. This involved setting a date and time that worked for all three of us. Sylvia had to get to New York at the agreed to date and time. I had to get to New York as well, and the Rabbi who would officiate had to be available.
Adam Kirsch, who is reading a page a day of Talmud as part of a project called Daf Yomi, recently wrote a piece about divorce. According to the Talmud, only men can divorce, and the reason: his feeling of incompatibility. To get a “get,” a Jewish divorce, is the man’s prerogative.
To get a civil divorce, in the “old days,” it used to require proof of unfaithfulness. We now have a “no-fault” divorce where either party can claim incompatibility. When Sylvia and I separated, it was, in the eyes of the court, because we were incompatible. To do it legally, she retained a lawyer, and her lawyer suggested that I get a lawyer. The two lawyers then drew up a separation agreement, which was a legal document. After several years of being officially separated, we brought our lawyers together once more, for the formal divorce agreement before a judge, and were officially divorced. But we never had a Jewish divorce.
In 1979, I moved to Boston, met Fran, we developed a “relationship,” Fran became pregnant, we decided to get married, we found a Rabbi to officiate at our wedding, the Rabbi said that since I had been married, but did not have a “Jewish divorce” our child would be considered “a momzer.” Fran was horrified. I was surprised. What to do. I certainly did not want our child to be a momzer. He told me to make arrangements for a Jewish divorce at once. He gave me the address and phone number of the Jewish Theological Seminary. I knew the address from years of listening to The Eternal Light (3080 Broadway.) He also gave me the name of the Rabbi who apparently handles Jewish divorces.
I immediately made two phone calls: One to the Rabbi at JTS, and the other to Sylvia. I told both of them I want to arrange for a Jewish divorce. They both were agreeable. This involved setting a date and time that worked for all three of us. Sylvia had to get to New York at the agreed to date and time. I had to get to New York as well, and the Rabbi who would officiate had to be available.
Original Format
application/msword
Collection
Citation
Jacob Schlitt, “Divorce,” Autobiographical stories & other writing by Jacob Schlitt, accessed September 11, 2024, https://tsirlson.omeka.net/items/show/383.