Final Physical Update
Title
Final Physical Update
Identifier
FINAL_PHYSICAL_UPDATE
Creator
Jacob Schlitt
Description
"I promised to keep you informed, and I try to keep my promises. I also promise not to burden you with any more physical updates. So where did we leave off?"
Date
2016-03-14
Coverage
2016
Format
application/pdf
Type
text
Language
en
Text
FINAL PHYSICAL UPDATE
I promised to keep you informed, and I try to keep my promises. I also promise not to burden you with any more physical updates. So where did we leave off?
After I wrote my 3-12-16 Physical Update, I began to feel queezy. Cause and effect? Who can say? I was decked out with my monitor, and decided to have lunch, but I wasn’t hungry, which is unusual. A result of the indigestion? Then I felt very tired. Then I felt a rapid pulse. Then I decided to go to bed and rest. Then the evening came and went and I decided to stay in bed—no supper, no TV. I didn’t even bother to move the clocks forward.
Sunday morning, I was convinced something was wrong, and Fran drove me to the Beth Israel Emergency Ward. It was a little after 8 am. Not very busy. I was admitted, and after a short wait, three doctors checked me out. Another EKG, blood pressure, temperature, pulse, and blood samples. Then a very long wait for the results of the “blood work.” Fran stayed by my side, despite the fact that she had tickets to a concert at Jordan Hall with a friend.
When the results came in, the three doctors conferred and concluded that the problem was not my heart, but my liver, and possibly the gall bladder. They then sent me for an ultrasound of the liver and gall bladder, which found nothing abnormal. Based on the “blood work,” however, they concluded that I must be admitted. But there was no bed available, so we sat and waited.
Finally a bed became available, I was rolled from the Emergency Ward to the Hospital Ward, and deposited in a bed. And the parade of more doctors, and nurses began. They all asked the same questions; they all took out their stethoscopes and listened to me, front and back; they pressed my belly; they looked in my eyes; they asked me to follow the movement of their fingers without moving my head. They gave me no idea what my situation was. I made jokes about liver and onions. I tried to get their reassurance that my heart was OK. I asked them personal questions. We became buddies. They had a technician stick a bunch of electrodes all over me and wired me to their monitor. Then the technician said I would have to disconnect my monitor because it was interfering with their monitor. I had an IV attached earlier, and a nurse flushed it out. I ordered supper. It was lousy. Through the night, nurses came by to check my “vitals.”
Monday morning: Around 7 am, someone came and drew some more blood. I ordered breakfast. It was lousy. The high point of the morning was a visit from Dr. Taylor, about 9:30 am, my wonderful PCP. He had good news. The review of the morning’s blood sample did not show any problem. He the explained why they though there was a problem. I said since I did not have a heart attack, and since there is no problem with my liver, I would like to go home. He said he would recommend that, and disappeared. No one came to see me until 2 pm, except for a few nurses who continue to take my “vitals.” One became very upset because I had a high blood pressure reading, so she took it again, and had someone else take it with a different machine.
At 2 pm, a doctor who I had met the night before concurred that there was no problem and I should go home in about an hour. Wonderful! Around 1 pm I ordered lunch. It was lousy. Expecting to go home by 3, I dressed and watched TV. Three pm came and went, and 4 pm came and went. I went to the desk and said I would like to be discharged and leave. They said they are working on the paper work. I called Fran to give her a head’s up. By 4:30 I demanded that someone take off the electrodes and IV, and I will leave with or without the paperwork.
Someone took off the electrodes and IV, and someone else printed out the “Patient Discharge Plan” which gave as Primary Diagnosis: Acute Hepatitis, and as Secondary Diagnosis: Acute Kidney Injury, Prolonged PR Interval (1st degree heart block), GERD, BPH, Dyspnea on exertion.
A lovely note followed: “It was a pleasure taking care of you during your hospitalization. Briefly, you were hospitalized when your liver function tests came back abnormal. You were given fluids and your liver and kidney function tests improved. It’s possible you had a small gallstone which caused your indigestion and abnormal liver function tests. Your heart was monitored without any dangerous events during your stay.” Sounds like a CYA letter. But as our favorite playwright wrote, “All’s Well That Ends Well.”
3-14-16
I promised to keep you informed, and I try to keep my promises. I also promise not to burden you with any more physical updates. So where did we leave off?
After I wrote my 3-12-16 Physical Update, I began to feel queezy. Cause and effect? Who can say? I was decked out with my monitor, and decided to have lunch, but I wasn’t hungry, which is unusual. A result of the indigestion? Then I felt very tired. Then I felt a rapid pulse. Then I decided to go to bed and rest. Then the evening came and went and I decided to stay in bed—no supper, no TV. I didn’t even bother to move the clocks forward.
Sunday morning, I was convinced something was wrong, and Fran drove me to the Beth Israel Emergency Ward. It was a little after 8 am. Not very busy. I was admitted, and after a short wait, three doctors checked me out. Another EKG, blood pressure, temperature, pulse, and blood samples. Then a very long wait for the results of the “blood work.” Fran stayed by my side, despite the fact that she had tickets to a concert at Jordan Hall with a friend.
When the results came in, the three doctors conferred and concluded that the problem was not my heart, but my liver, and possibly the gall bladder. They then sent me for an ultrasound of the liver and gall bladder, which found nothing abnormal. Based on the “blood work,” however, they concluded that I must be admitted. But there was no bed available, so we sat and waited.
Finally a bed became available, I was rolled from the Emergency Ward to the Hospital Ward, and deposited in a bed. And the parade of more doctors, and nurses began. They all asked the same questions; they all took out their stethoscopes and listened to me, front and back; they pressed my belly; they looked in my eyes; they asked me to follow the movement of their fingers without moving my head. They gave me no idea what my situation was. I made jokes about liver and onions. I tried to get their reassurance that my heart was OK. I asked them personal questions. We became buddies. They had a technician stick a bunch of electrodes all over me and wired me to their monitor. Then the technician said I would have to disconnect my monitor because it was interfering with their monitor. I had an IV attached earlier, and a nurse flushed it out. I ordered supper. It was lousy. Through the night, nurses came by to check my “vitals.”
Monday morning: Around 7 am, someone came and drew some more blood. I ordered breakfast. It was lousy. The high point of the morning was a visit from Dr. Taylor, about 9:30 am, my wonderful PCP. He had good news. The review of the morning’s blood sample did not show any problem. He the explained why they though there was a problem. I said since I did not have a heart attack, and since there is no problem with my liver, I would like to go home. He said he would recommend that, and disappeared. No one came to see me until 2 pm, except for a few nurses who continue to take my “vitals.” One became very upset because I had a high blood pressure reading, so she took it again, and had someone else take it with a different machine.
At 2 pm, a doctor who I had met the night before concurred that there was no problem and I should go home in about an hour. Wonderful! Around 1 pm I ordered lunch. It was lousy. Expecting to go home by 3, I dressed and watched TV. Three pm came and went, and 4 pm came and went. I went to the desk and said I would like to be discharged and leave. They said they are working on the paper work. I called Fran to give her a head’s up. By 4:30 I demanded that someone take off the electrodes and IV, and I will leave with or without the paperwork.
Someone took off the electrodes and IV, and someone else printed out the “Patient Discharge Plan” which gave as Primary Diagnosis: Acute Hepatitis, and as Secondary Diagnosis: Acute Kidney Injury, Prolonged PR Interval (1st degree heart block), GERD, BPH, Dyspnea on exertion.
A lovely note followed: “It was a pleasure taking care of you during your hospitalization. Briefly, you were hospitalized when your liver function tests came back abnormal. You were given fluids and your liver and kidney function tests improved. It’s possible you had a small gallstone which caused your indigestion and abnormal liver function tests. Your heart was monitored without any dangerous events during your stay.” Sounds like a CYA letter. But as our favorite playwright wrote, “All’s Well That Ends Well.”
3-14-16
Original Format
application/msword
Citation
Jacob Schlitt, “Final Physical Update,” Autobiographical stories & other writing by Jacob Schlitt, accessed April 14, 2026, https://tsirlson.omeka.net/items/show/387.