S O M E P Part II
Title
S O M E P Part II
Identifier
Document5
Creator
Jacob Schlitt
Description
"How I spent Sunday August 28: All my life I have followed the same routine."
Date
2016-08-29
Coverage
2016
Format
application/pdf
Type
text
Text
S O M E P PART II
How I spent Sunday August 28: All my life I have followed the same routine. I get to bed anywhere between 11 and 12 pm. I used to watch the 11 pm news, until I started to watch Jon Stewart. I would catch a little of one of the Late Shows, and then sleep until 7 or 7:30 am. As I got older, I would get to bed earlier, and stay in bed later. Where I used to sleep through the night, my enlarged prostate (EP) these days kept waking me up every hour or so, telling me that my bladder was full. However, it would not let me empty it, no matter how hard I tried.
And it got worse. And it was so bad, that this past Sunday morning, I decided to go to the Beth Israel Emergency Department. I had been there before. Wonderful staff. They take good care of you. And they have all my medical records. I was admitted at 1 pm. Turns out that they were busy, so I waited about an hour and a half. Triage. I was finally assigned to a room and a nurse saw me. Here name was Denise. Denise da Nurse.
She asked me what brought me there. I did not say a car driven by a friend. I told her about my enlarged prostate and the trouble I was having peeing (which seems to be the accepted term.) She asked me for a urine sample. (I have been giving out lots of samples for the past few months.) She also asked me for my date of birth. Everybody in the hospital kept asking me for my date of birth. It was about 3 pm. A doctor came in with a portable ultrasound machine and ran it all over my body, but I think he mostly wanted to see my bladder and kidneys. Then he disappeared. About 4:30 pm, Denise da Nurse reappeared with something called a Foley catheter. To my surprise, she told me that she is going to insert it into my penis. Doctor’s orders. By this time I was reconciled to the idea of a catheter which I previously rejected. And that is what she did. My full bladder emptied into a bag; another bag was attached to the catheter, and the bag was attached with Velcro straps to my right thigh. (Is this making you uncomfortable?)
Another half hour passed when the doctor returned, and said I can go. Hey! Tell me what I am supposed to do. First, you will be wearing it until your surgery September 8, Second, empty it twice a day. It has a little switch at the bottom that you can open and close. I said that my bowel movement problem is almost as great. He said I can take over the counter laxatives to help me “poop” (which seems to be the accepted term). I meant to ask him about showering with it on, but I forgot. Before I left, I was given a form to sign, and “Discharge Instructions.” It said “You presented to the ED with urinary retention and fecal retention due to your BPH,” and then said I should call my doctor if I have chills or fever, pain in my abdomen or back, or vomiting.
What it did not say is what I should do if there was leakage. Since there was, I called my doctor and he will see me Wednesday. I should also report that, thanks to the catheter, I had the first good night’s sleep in a long time. Having shared my condition through this medium, and in conversation, I learned that I am not alone in living with this. In fact, one person to whom I told that I have an enlarged prostate, confided that he has no prostate. Reminded me of the observation: bad breath is better than no breath at all.
I forgot to mention in my first piece that, anxious about recovery time, I wrote, on August 25, to the only urologist in our circle, Ben Bernstein, asking him about the likelihood of recovery by September 21, from the September 8 TURP. He replied: “Complications from this procedure can include urinary frequency, urgency, urge incontinence and discomfort for 3 to 4 weeks…Feel free to ask me any more questions. Send my love to Fran.” I hope he is wrong. I sent Fran his love.
I now shall wait and see.
8-29-16
I write these pieces as a form of therapy for myself. You don’t really have to read them.
How I spent Sunday August 28: All my life I have followed the same routine. I get to bed anywhere between 11 and 12 pm. I used to watch the 11 pm news, until I started to watch Jon Stewart. I would catch a little of one of the Late Shows, and then sleep until 7 or 7:30 am. As I got older, I would get to bed earlier, and stay in bed later. Where I used to sleep through the night, my enlarged prostate (EP) these days kept waking me up every hour or so, telling me that my bladder was full. However, it would not let me empty it, no matter how hard I tried.
And it got worse. And it was so bad, that this past Sunday morning, I decided to go to the Beth Israel Emergency Department. I had been there before. Wonderful staff. They take good care of you. And they have all my medical records. I was admitted at 1 pm. Turns out that they were busy, so I waited about an hour and a half. Triage. I was finally assigned to a room and a nurse saw me. Here name was Denise. Denise da Nurse.
She asked me what brought me there. I did not say a car driven by a friend. I told her about my enlarged prostate and the trouble I was having peeing (which seems to be the accepted term.) She asked me for a urine sample. (I have been giving out lots of samples for the past few months.) She also asked me for my date of birth. Everybody in the hospital kept asking me for my date of birth. It was about 3 pm. A doctor came in with a portable ultrasound machine and ran it all over my body, but I think he mostly wanted to see my bladder and kidneys. Then he disappeared. About 4:30 pm, Denise da Nurse reappeared with something called a Foley catheter. To my surprise, she told me that she is going to insert it into my penis. Doctor’s orders. By this time I was reconciled to the idea of a catheter which I previously rejected. And that is what she did. My full bladder emptied into a bag; another bag was attached to the catheter, and the bag was attached with Velcro straps to my right thigh. (Is this making you uncomfortable?)
Another half hour passed when the doctor returned, and said I can go. Hey! Tell me what I am supposed to do. First, you will be wearing it until your surgery September 8, Second, empty it twice a day. It has a little switch at the bottom that you can open and close. I said that my bowel movement problem is almost as great. He said I can take over the counter laxatives to help me “poop” (which seems to be the accepted term). I meant to ask him about showering with it on, but I forgot. Before I left, I was given a form to sign, and “Discharge Instructions.” It said “You presented to the ED with urinary retention and fecal retention due to your BPH,” and then said I should call my doctor if I have chills or fever, pain in my abdomen or back, or vomiting.
What it did not say is what I should do if there was leakage. Since there was, I called my doctor and he will see me Wednesday. I should also report that, thanks to the catheter, I had the first good night’s sleep in a long time. Having shared my condition through this medium, and in conversation, I learned that I am not alone in living with this. In fact, one person to whom I told that I have an enlarged prostate, confided that he has no prostate. Reminded me of the observation: bad breath is better than no breath at all.
I forgot to mention in my first piece that, anxious about recovery time, I wrote, on August 25, to the only urologist in our circle, Ben Bernstein, asking him about the likelihood of recovery by September 21, from the September 8 TURP. He replied: “Complications from this procedure can include urinary frequency, urgency, urge incontinence and discomfort for 3 to 4 weeks…Feel free to ask me any more questions. Send my love to Fran.” I hope he is wrong. I sent Fran his love.
I now shall wait and see.
8-29-16
I write these pieces as a form of therapy for myself. You don’t really have to read them.
Original Format
application/msword
Collection
Citation
Jacob Schlitt, “S O M E P Part II,” Autobiographical stories & other writing by Jacob Schlitt, accessed March 22, 2025, https://tsirlson.omeka.net/items/show/417.